A couple weeks ago I was getting up in the morning and I passed out twice. I needed a blood transfusion, it was all fine I was just mostly bored because it took 8 hours. Even though that whole time I was low on blood and didn't feel good, I totally convinced myself that I was fine. It was only a couple of months ago that I realized that it's okay to cry, it's okay to feel sad and angry, and it's okay to feel inferior and vulnerable. Most importantly, it's okay and necessary to move on.
I went to a concert last Thursday and I had a wonderful time. As you all probably know, Christmas is Friday and although I'm "Dreaming of a White Christmas" I probably won't be getting one. Also, my birthday is on Sunday! I'm excited for it.
Most of all, I wanted to thank the girl scout troupe at my brothers school for making me a beautiful blanket and my school for still supporting me. I also wanted to say thank you to everyone that has given me something this Christmas and everyday this year whether it was a material gift or just thinking about me that day. Thank you for showing what Christmas is all about; giving. Thank you for showing what life is all about; love. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
Love, Daniela
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Everything!
I have a lot to say... so get ready! =)
Let's start off with the basics, tomorrow is one full year from my diagnosis. It really feels like just yesterday that I was sitting in the hospital, waiting to hear what my MRI readings were. Today, I was reading my posts from July, reminding me that I have come such a long way. Reading those posts, I remembered when I couldn't talk, move my legs, things like that. If you look at me now, I am still a long way from 100% but, I know a few months from now I will be thinking of how much more I've accomplished. In July, I made a post called "Time?". In that post I included a quote that I want you all to remember.
"Time is like a river... you cannot touch the same water twice, because the flow that has passed will never pass again. Enjoy every moment of life." - Unknown
That quote is very dear to me. But, there are moments for joking and then there are moment to be serious. There are moments to cry and moments to laugh. Soak in every moment, because it is a blessing to cry, laugh, or feel sad, happy, ...etc.
I have been having so much fun with life. A couple weeks ago, my friend won tickets to a Justin Bieber concert. I shall remind you that the last time he saw me, it was July when I couldn't talk or move my legs. I also was still on steroids and I have slimmed down quite a bit from then. Well, when he saw me, he definitely remembered me and he was purely thrilled to see how much better I looked. It made my day to know that he really, truly, honestly cared. He had his body guards push the crowd back so me and my friend could get through. It made my day, I was ecstatic.
On Nov. 20, I went to the theater and watched from The Twilight Saga: "New Moon". It was on opening day too! Most everybody knows that I am a huge Twilight fanatic. If you're a twilight fan to, I'll have you know that I'm wavering between Team Jacob and Team Edward. The movie was truly amazing in my opinion.
The other day, my tube was clogged and we were about to go to the hospital to change it. I was very upset and I was crying and crying. Finally my mom went outside to get the car ready, and I was inside crying, I really did not want to go. It was at that moment I looked up and said "If you love me, you'll take the pain and sadness away". Then my mother walked through the door and I asked her to try to put water through my tube just one more time. When she tried to put the water through the tube, it went through like nothing was ever wrong with it. I looked at my mom and frankly we were both astonished and thrilled. It reminded me of the birthday gift I bought my mom. It was a plaque that had these words on it, "Everyday holds the possibility of a miracle."
For Thanksgiving I will be thankful for what has been given to me, and everything I have because everything could be a lot worse. I want to wish everyone a happy Thanksgiving and a request for thoughts and prayers on December 2nd when I go for my next MRI.
Love, Daniela
Let's start off with the basics, tomorrow is one full year from my diagnosis. It really feels like just yesterday that I was sitting in the hospital, waiting to hear what my MRI readings were. Today, I was reading my posts from July, reminding me that I have come such a long way. Reading those posts, I remembered when I couldn't talk, move my legs, things like that. If you look at me now, I am still a long way from 100% but, I know a few months from now I will be thinking of how much more I've accomplished. In July, I made a post called "Time?". In that post I included a quote that I want you all to remember.
"Time is like a river... you cannot touch the same water twice, because the flow that has passed will never pass again. Enjoy every moment of life." - Unknown
That quote is very dear to me. But, there are moments for joking and then there are moment to be serious. There are moments to cry and moments to laugh. Soak in every moment, because it is a blessing to cry, laugh, or feel sad, happy, ...etc.
I have been having so much fun with life. A couple weeks ago, my friend won tickets to a Justin Bieber concert. I shall remind you that the last time he saw me, it was July when I couldn't talk or move my legs. I also was still on steroids and I have slimmed down quite a bit from then. Well, when he saw me, he definitely remembered me and he was purely thrilled to see how much better I looked. It made my day to know that he really, truly, honestly cared. He had his body guards push the crowd back so me and my friend could get through. It made my day, I was ecstatic.
On Nov. 20, I went to the theater and watched from The Twilight Saga: "New Moon". It was on opening day too! Most everybody knows that I am a huge Twilight fanatic. If you're a twilight fan to, I'll have you know that I'm wavering between Team Jacob and Team Edward. The movie was truly amazing in my opinion.
The other day, my tube was clogged and we were about to go to the hospital to change it. I was very upset and I was crying and crying. Finally my mom went outside to get the car ready, and I was inside crying, I really did not want to go. It was at that moment I looked up and said "If you love me, you'll take the pain and sadness away". Then my mother walked through the door and I asked her to try to put water through my tube just one more time. When she tried to put the water through the tube, it went through like nothing was ever wrong with it. I looked at my mom and frankly we were both astonished and thrilled. It reminded me of the birthday gift I bought my mom. It was a plaque that had these words on it, "Everyday holds the possibility of a miracle."
For Thanksgiving I will be thankful for what has been given to me, and everything I have because everything could be a lot worse. I want to wish everyone a happy Thanksgiving and a request for thoughts and prayers on December 2nd when I go for my next MRI.
Love, Daniela
Monday, October 26, 2009
Relax
Hey everyone! Lately, I have been thinking about my old hobbies that I am not able to do right now. Like singing, to me music is not the same with out me singing or humming. I still love music as I will always but I can't help but loathe the fact that, at the moment, I am not able to create my own sound. And the piano, I feel sometimes that I am starting over from the beginning. And of course tennis, I miss being able to have an outlet. It was a place where I didn't have to think about anything but my game and technique. But everything that I'm missing right now, only makes me want to work harder to get it back. Which is why everything that I'm going through right now, is a small price to pay if it means getting better. But all this hard work can either be fun or it can be a pain. It all depends on your attitude. I vote fun. I always, at least, try to have a good time or make the best out of it. Because, you never know what is going to happen the next day. For example, I woke up one morning and my tube was clogged and we couldn't unclog it. Even though I absolutely hate getting my tube changed, I found the good. I had a really nice nurse and doctor and most importantly, I'd get to eat. It's definitely hard to stay calm in times like that or anytime that stresses you out, but staying calm really does help. I know myself in those situations, all I want to do is cry because my stomach hurts, I don't feel good, and I need to eat! But then my mom reminds me to stay calm, breath, and relax. When she tells me to do that, everything goes a lot smoother and better. When I'm getting treatment too.
I'm excited for these next couple months. I have family and there's Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and let's not forget, my birthday!! I hope you all have a great day and weekend! =)
Love, Daniela
I'm excited for these next couple months. I have family and there's Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and let's not forget, my birthday!! I hope you all have a great day and weekend! =)
Love, Daniela
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
I passed!
Hi everyone! I'm very sorry that I haven't written in a while, I've been pretty busy!
First of all, many of you were wondering how I did on my swallow test and I did pass! So, I'm still on the feeding tube but I am allowed to eat soft and/or pureed foods. Even though I passed the test, I'm scared to eat. I'll have to practice a lot before I become comfortable. I appreciate all your prayers and thoughts, and I'm hoping to get a lot more! I thank each and every one who is supporting me! I am so blessed to have the friends and family that I have. I'm staying positive and the people who are around me now are a part of that and for that I am thankful.
Love, Daniela
First of all, many of you were wondering how I did on my swallow test and I did pass! So, I'm still on the feeding tube but I am allowed to eat soft and/or pureed foods. Even though I passed the test, I'm scared to eat. I'll have to practice a lot before I become comfortable. I appreciate all your prayers and thoughts, and I'm hoping to get a lot more! I thank each and every one who is supporting me! I am so blessed to have the friends and family that I have. I'm staying positive and the people who are around me now are a part of that and for that I am thankful.
Love, Daniela
Friday, September 25, 2009
News
OK, well I have a swallowing test on Tuesday. I am so nervous I could cry. I'm trying to convince myself it is not a big deal. They're definitely not going to take my tube off but I'm hoping that I'll be allowed to start eating at least a little bit of food. In other words, I don't want to be so restricted. To someone else who is eating, this situation could be easy to them either you pass or fail. To me it has a lot to do with freedom and independence. Everybody wants to be free to choose their food, they don't want to have to depend on someone to tell you what you can or can't eat. That's why diets are hard and frustrating to follow but in most cases, like mine or having a weight problem, it's 100% necessary. It's very very hard to not be allowed to eat things and yet be around them all day, but even though I really don't like it one bit, I'm sucking it up and doing whatever it is that I need to do to stay healthy and improve. I've already crossed so many mountains, I'm pretty confident about crossing this next one. I've pocketed my hope and am taking it with me. :)
Love, Daniela
Love, Daniela
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Finishing Strong
Well, as a lot of you know, it has been raining in Atlanta for the past week and a half. There has been major flooding. Even school was canceled. My mom has never seen this in Atlanta! Our basement was flooding badly, but I consider that lucky comparing to some of my friends. But Atlanta gets a bit of a break from the rain for now. It's great to see the sun!
My Uncle Nate sent me this great power point titled "Finishing Strong". It made me realize that almost nothing is impossible. There are so many people who, after accidents, were told they couldn't sing, walk...etc., and they were so determined to do the "impossible" and it happened. Like I am determined to start singing and playing tennis again. It'll happen!! Ever since I was little, I was taught to never give up. In fact, my dad wanted me to join the debate team in high school because I was so good at proving my point!:) Soo, never give up!
Love, Daniela
My Uncle Nate sent me this great power point titled "Finishing Strong". It made me realize that almost nothing is impossible. There are so many people who, after accidents, were told they couldn't sing, walk...etc., and they were so determined to do the "impossible" and it happened. Like I am determined to start singing and playing tennis again. It'll happen!! Ever since I was little, I was taught to never give up. In fact, my dad wanted me to join the debate team in high school because I was so good at proving my point!:) Soo, never give up!
Love, Daniela
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